Tuesday, December 18, 2012

If I was a celeb and the Pap-attack

Sometimes I don't know why I think of things, it just happens. Often, they're quite odd things and I get this weird excited feeling that I might be on to something. I had that feeling the other day.

I was brushing my teeth when a thought popped into my head about how I would handle paparazzi or media intrusion if I was a celebrity... Hmmm.... Part of me thinks that they crave the fame so they deserve all the crap that comes with the territory... But then every now and then a celebrity comes around and actually seems like a decent individual like Matt Damon for example.

Anyway, the revenge gene in me came out and I started to get a little vindictive.

I thought, if someone was following me taking pics and invading my privacy, wouldn't it be an interesting concept to do the same to them. Just imagine they wake up in the morning about to ruin someones life, head to their front door and they're confronted by a whole host of celebrities with cameras taking photos of their every move. Capturing them in their most awkward moments, long range lens in the bathroom, or eating food etc..

You could coin a movement and call it something like celebmob or pap-attack... I can see it now.. They could share the pics online to spread the embarrassment or maybe start a magazine of their own 'The Celebrity Snapper'.

Taking it one step further you could imagine all those editors or writers who pull those features together highlighting the blemishes and chubby areas of a celebs body could have the tables turned on them. Pictures of them with crows feet and muffin tops highlighted would circle the net for all to see...

I wonder....

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Free Feel Good and The Clairvoyant Stereotype

It's been an interesting week. I've noticed that I'm getting more discerning, thinking about things and how they make me feel. The other day I caught the train home as I usually do. I joined the other sheep as we were herding on to the train when I noticed a woman standing to the side with a pram waiting to get on the train. 

She was obviously not from Australia and was backing away in a humble but saddening way that made me feel that she didn't see herself as important (or self important) as the suit wearing crowd that were going on their selfish way ignoring all around them.

I don't know if this was chivalry coming out but I couldn't watch this without doing something so I stopped everyone and ushered this woman on to the train. She was taken aback but accepted my offer with a beaming smile that was worth so much more than the simple gesture I'd just outlaid. 

Anyway, the moral of this particular story, and where I was getting to at the beginning of this post was that I had an enormous sense of well being from simply letting this woman on to the train. That feeling lasted me a long while and still makes me feel a little warm inside.

Doing something good for someone else really is an easy way to make yourself feel good but also to change someone else's life for the better in a small but valuable way. Think about it, the last time you did something good for someone else, I bet you felt warm and fuzzy. Also, when someone last did something nice for you I bet you reciprocated that gesture in some way for someone else. It's contagious. 

Also, in my week of self discovery, I ended up going to the Mind Body and Spirit festival, housed conveniently next to the Motorbike festival. You could easily tell who was going to what..

It's weird though, it's easy to see an issue psychics, clairvoyants, palmists and spiritualists face is one of credibility. Yet when going around from stand to stand you see nothing but stereotypes everywhere... Middle aged men balding but with pony tails dressed in something purple and cloak-like or middle aged women who look like gypsy witches... 

I mean if they were all wearing business attire or normal clothing without all this rent-a-ghost garb you might actually find them a little more believable. I'm not trying to knock them because I actually found some of the people I spoke to very interesting. 

I did have a very British moment with a spiritual troupe who invited me in to their stall to meditate. I descended back to the ways of the mother country by not being able to utter the words "no thank you" and instead found myself at the back of this stall being encouraged to close my eyes and clear my mind for a few minutes to think about my god. I did ask if I could think of a footballing god instead but that fell on deaf ears. I spent the next 120 seconds thinking of ways I could get out of this situation. It appeared my over politeness had just got me involved in a cult of some description. 

Well done sunshine... good work... I kept thinking what I would say to Lena in ten years when I'm found running naked around a field somewhere.... chanting.... She'd ask me... "What were you thinking? Why did you disappear and join a cult?" "I couldn't help it...," I'd say, "I didn't want to be rude!"

I opened my eyes when I thought I'd spent long enough 'meditating' without looking like i'd taken the piss and then went on my merry way. An interesting week!


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Doing the do!

It makes me laugh.... I have so many things I want to achieve but I'm just a little too lazy to achieve any of them. It's ok though because I can simply blame everything on 'modern society'.

We're just so busy nowadays... we have far too much going on.... we don't leave enough time for ourselves... I would question anyone who says they've never used one of these excuses at least once.

I watched a program a few months ago. It was The Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan. One of the couples featured had a dog that didn't fit into their lives because they were 'type A' personalities... so much so that they had to keep repeating this as if they were trying to convince themselves.

It said to me that perhaps we all want to do a little more with our lives but when it gets to the 'do' part we struggle. We're very good at talking about how busy we are but we don't actually get round to doing that much. Perhaps that's me the cynic coming out again.

My view is that we're as busy as we ever have been as a people, but we just choose to spend our time differently. We also seem to spend an awful lot of time on self promotion.... the fomo culture is alive and kicking and it's all about where we're seen and who we're with along with how many photos other people can take of us and share them online. Never really been one to buy into that way of thinking...

Anyway, why am I ambling through this diatribe?? That's right, what do I want to achieve.... learn Spanish, perfect my German, do more exercise, learn the guitar, get involved in charity work, give back to the world in some way and.... and.... write a book. That's an itch I've been trying to scratch for a while. I can't shake it so I'm just going to have to do it. Maybe this will be one thing I do achieve.

Adios amigos.... Bis morgen!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Shopping list in case of a lottery win

So, I've decided if I win $70m in the lottery on Tuesday I'm gonna take a quick trip to this site....http://www.privateislandsonline.com

Where have you been?

Ok, I apologise blog, it's been three years or something ridiculous like that since my last post. You were just a travelling companion at that point.

I used you for my diarising needs and then just forgot about you like that t-shirt you've had for ever but can't bring yourself to throw away even though you don't wear it anymore because you know where it's been and also what that weird stain on it is but it has too many memories for the rubbish bin.....

So, why the sudden impetus to start writing again you may ask? Well, I guess I'm entering that stage in my life where I never thought I'd get to when I was younger... you know the one where you look at 'older people' and think... "God, I hope I never get as cynical as that!" and then you realise one day that you're scratching at the door of 37 years old and that chart music those kids play nowadays is just crap, too loud, I can't understand a bloody word they're saying and what the hell does totes amazeballs really mean....

Then you realise, you've turned into your Dad. Bars are too busy, you can't hear yourself think, crap primetime TV just got that little bit more interesting, you try to read everyone on the train into work and tut at the negative points of the life you've just assumed they live.

So, what will stage two of this blog be about.

Well, your guess is as good as mine. It could turn into a one post wonder... or it could be a little bit of everything that life throws at you translated into the ramblings of a grumpy 30 something who actually doesn't really have a bad lot out of life, a wonderful wife, three gorgeous if a little irreverent dogs and a job I enjoy... We'll see...

What I can guarantee is that there will be lots of stories about my three dogs because they are entirely too entertaining, food because my wife, mum and mother in law are just amazing cooks as well as Melbourne because that's where I'm living now as well as general observations on life!

I'll leave you with some pics of the dogs to keep you going and I'm sure you'll get to know Snoopy, Cosmo and Ziggy as each post becomes a reality...
Snoopy, Ziggy and Cosmo when they were all the same size
Cosmo and Ziggy, it's now Ziggy who likes to sit on Cosmo
Ziggy in his favourite pose